Soz

Dear World,
I believe I forgot to wish everyone a Happy Wesak, Happy Gawai Keamatan and erm, Happy Yang di-Pertuan Agong's Birthday...so yeah, sorry about that, been busy.

Take care out there,
Algy

Take a Look at All the Suffering We Breed

I am re-wired at home now that the spoilt router has been replaced, but work truly has taken much of my time and attention, so blogging has taken a back-seat so to speak.

People know how busy I am; some basically give me the impression that they think I've sold my soul to the devil (sometimes I myself wonder if there's merit to that claim), but the worse thing for me is that the invitations stop coming after a while. If the answer's always "No", why bother right?

Soon my only friends will be lawyers...From the firm I work in. I shudder at the thought...too late! too late! In for a penny, in for a pound.

More notes from my pupillage, 24th May to 4th June.

D91 (24th May): New shoes! Same crap...

D92: Legal Aid Session #1.

D93: "Will your principles and morals feed you?"

D94: Air cond down. Can.not.breathe. Can.not.work.

D95 (31st May):  Goodbye Kenwayne!

D96: Legal Aid Session #2. My country is so screwed up.

D97: JID to death.

D98: Birthday celebrations for Emily and Vivian. Yay!

D98: "Everyday you can be tired, but not everyday you can meet up." True dat Daron!

I've done 2 out of my requisite 10 sessions at Tenaganita (every Tuesday), and I've already read and seen enough to conclude that there are some aspects of my country that are truly deplorable. I'm talking about stuff we as Malaysians should be utterly ashamed off, stuff we should shout about everywhere...but no, because we are (choose to be?) ignorant. And even if we cared, the truth is unknown because it is rarely told, and when told, suppressed by those in whose interests it is to keep us ignorant.

We have no qualms highlighting and condemning the evils of others: the past imperialists and colonialists of Britain and Japan, the "Zionist regime" of Israel, the self-serving Americans, the hypocritical West, the tyrants of failed states, etc. etc. etc. Yet in our own backyard, migrant workers and exploited over and over and over again, refugees are whipped, tortured, detained and trafficked, people are being sold as slaves and prostitutes. Yes, by our very own countrymen.

Parts of our country seem to be run by gang lords, criminals, runners, syndicates, agents, middle-men and corrupt politicians who don't want you to know this. It all makes me sick sometimes...

It's the Terror of Knowing What the World Is About

Sorry I've not posted often; been busy and the router at home has gone kaput. Anyway, here are my daily pupillage notes, from 10th to 21st May.

D81 (10th May): Dreams can turn into nightmares, and nightmares into dreams.

D82: "If you're moving towards peace, you're moving away from money. If you're moving towards money, you're moving away from peace."

D83: Going to the High Court nearby is almost like working from home!

D84: Goodbye Gordon! Hello David! And, err...Nick I suppose.

D85: All bets off. Back to war.

D86 (17th May): The audacity of some lawyers!

D87: Tenaganita Legal Aid Training Day 1. (I'm missing a trial I've prepared months for and it's raining buckets!).

D88: Day 2 of Legal Aid Training. Daniel Lo says, "If you always fight for truth and justice, you will never lose a case".

D89: Friends make my world go round.

D90: I was fortunate enough to hear Y.A. Dato' Azhar's landmark decision on Datuk Syed Ahmad Jamal's case. I'd never guess the "Law, Literature & Art" course I took at uni would come to life so soon!

P.S. In case you haven't notice yet, all my posts viz. pupillage are titled with lines from Queen songs.

Insanity Laughs Under Pressure We're Cracking

D71 (26th April) : "Those were the days my friend, we thought they'd never end, We'd sing and dance forever and a day."

D72: The highlight of my day: Old Town French Toast. Sad, no?

D73: I'm hungry tonight, but have no appetite to eat.

D74: People may seem unassuming, but never assume that they are.

D75: Fact: all lawyers are sadomasochistic.

D76 (3rd May): It's hard to think of others when you're all alone.

D77: Maps have traps. Both figuratively and literally. 

D78: Boss says, "Don't panic!"

D79: Why is it that when I'm free, everyone ignores me, but when I'm dying from the workload, I get loads of invites?! Why?

D80: What doesn't kill you only makes you balder.

D80A (Sat 8th May): Now I know why they bolt the windows: so no one can attempt suicide.

D80B (Sun 9th): No words.

Last week was a nightmare. I went home past midnight 4 out of the 5 weeknights, and over the weekend I went to the office for about 8 hours on both days, all this in preparation for an upcoming trial which will not even proceed due to settlement.

At one point I was swear delirious: it was so un-funny that it became funny and I laughed to myself in the office like a madman for half a minute. No kidding.

To makes matters worst I got lost and was therefore late for an event, missed Mother's Day dinner tonight and couldn't make it for a friend's welcome-home-cum-birthday party.

But through it all, I surprised myself—I survived (with help from above), and I realise I'm a lot stronger than I thought.

On a separate note, the 15-year old who was fatally shot by the police recently is my sister's junior and studied at my alma mater. Students there are of course reeling from the tragedy.
The fact that it happened shocked me, the fact that it happened 2 minutes away from my house makes me shudder, and the fact that the police are not just unwilling to apologise but are implicating the innocent victim makes me want to vomit. Why can't any public body take some responsibility in this country instead of trying to cover things up and play the blame game?

I...

• am older but am not old—this is an awkward stage to be in at social settings.
• need new work shoes—the right sole tore on my old pair.
• miss the UK intermittently—it's surprising how random scenes, people, places from uni days pop up in my head suddenly.
• am unsure about many things, but am not altogether too bothered about it for now, thankfully.
• am not looking forward to leaving for work at 7.30am tomorrow.
• need a new phone—current one hasn't be working properly for more than a year.
• detest the fact that everyone's disgustingly busy.
• wish I had more time for myself: to read, to write, to watch movies, to bake, to run, to swim, to paint, to go to the gym, to people-watch, to dream.
• am looking forward to dinner with an old friend tomorrow night.
• do love my country, despite it's many, many flaws.
• am okay.

Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Will You Do The Fandango?

Friends are becoming increasingly hard to contact, let alone meet up with. I call them at 9 in the evening and they whisper back, "Sorry, I'm in a meeting. Call you back. Bye." More and more of them are working late nights and weekends. Office politics in some firms (not mine, thank God) is becoming unbearable for some.

Then today I found out some guy who did a viral video on YouTube now has his own Cartoon Network series. Life clearly is not fair. I should just quit my job and try to do that. In the meantime, more notes from my slavery, I mean my pupillage, 12th to 23rd April.

D61 (12th April): You know what I hate most about my job? The Federal Highway.

D62: Legal Aid Orientation, then 17 durians at Sentul.

D63: My first mention at the Industrial Court was...a bit of a let-down, really.

D64: Q: If A fraudulent doctor is are called a 'quack', what is a fraudulent lawyer called? A: A lawyer.

D65: Another Friday night in the office feeling alienated. C'est la vie, eh?

D65A (Sat 17th April): I'll dance to the tune my own trumpet, thank you very much.

D66: I took Panadol for my migraine but there aren't any pills for Monday Blues.

D67: Today was a productive day. So why do I feel so crappy at the end of it?

D68: Work kills but litigation murders.

D69: "Destiny is a demoness." Ramli Ibrahim, my hat goes off to you. You should have got a Datukship years ago.

D70: I'm tired of hearing the words "I'm tired".

Happy Earth Day

Dear Earth,
Happy Earth Day! Go green people!

Algy

Jukebox: Real Men

...can make you cry.

Ray LaMontagne. Digging the beard?


Chet Baker.


Rufus Wainright.


The incomparable Jeff Buckley.


David Gray.

In The Wee Small Hours

I am, by inclination, a very reflective person. I am also, by nature I suppose, nocturnal when it comes to cerebral alertness. My mind is most lucid and wide open at night, and so I usually question, ponder and philosophise on life's vagaries, mysteries and "big questions" when most people around me are sound asleep.

It's really no surprise then that I'm typing this to myself in the middle of the night. The week has past, and in a few hours I'll be driving off to the office again (I hope I won't be late). I suppose it has been an normal week—nothing extraordinarily horrid or fantastic happened, work was hectic as usual, I had a nice meet up with a friend, I bought stuff, I ate stuff, I slept, I cursed at the traffic jams, I tried to convince myself to exercise, I ate cheesecake instead, etc.

Yet as the week passed, I was often consciously aware of how little control I had over time, how it was rushing past me as I worked/slept/drove/lived, and how, so many times in my past, I had wasted it away. I don't mean I to say I regret anything that I did, in fact in my past I did do a lot of things which I felt were worthwhile or necessary at the time, but perhaps I did not use time as effectively and efficiently as I could have. The bits in between events, the spare minutes I spent napping, stoning, reading silly magazines, watching pointless videos—I could have used those lost moments to learn new skills or sharpen existing ones. Of course, this realisation is too little too late now.

Now my life seems to be a gushing stream of activity that I have little control over. Work saps all of my time and energy on weekdays (and occasionally weekends too), and during weekends I usually take things easy to recover from the previous week's strain, which usually means I end up achieving very little on Saturday and Sunday and regretting it on Sunday night. After a while, my mental list of things to do, places to visit, pieces to write, books to read, people to meet up with, movies to watch, chores to complete, etc. grows so large that I lose track of it all and I think: where's the time?

Click here to read more.

Happy Indian New Year

Happy Vaisaki/New Year to all Sikh and Hindu friends! 

P.S. If you have a chance to watch IndiCine Live! tonight at KLPAC, 8.30pm, PLEASE GO! It'll be RM23 well spent! 

Peace,

Algy 

I'm Easy Come, Easy Go, Little High, Little Low

More musings on the road to being called to the Bar, March 29th to April 9th.

D55 (29th March): Why must the courts be soooo anal?!

D56: Sometimes I wonder why we have a "Constitution" at all.

D57: Dear Older Generation, thank you for destroying my planet, ruining my country and parenting all these jerks around me. RESPECT yo!

D58: Another new pupil.

D59: I think that sometimes, it's best not to think at all.

D60 (5th April): My play got performed today! Thank you to all who helped out and to those who came.

D61: Watch your step. It's a minefield out there.

D62: Rooftops are good for dreaming on, and apparently restaurants, gyms, theatres and clubs too.

D63: "It's all about the money."

D64: Reckless restlessness redux.

Happy Easter

I wish I had a basket of Creme Eggs in front of me. Yum. Have a nice one everyone!